Only because it fits the theme of the site and the bane of my existence will I post a funny e-mail. Enjoy.

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, people from Kentucky, Tennessee, western Maryland & Pennsylvania, as well as West Virginia will no longer be referred to as “HILLBILLIES.”  You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore…

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a “BABE” or a “CHICK” - She is a

“BREASTED AMERICAN.”

2. She is not “EASY” - She is

“HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.”

3. She is not a “DUMB BLONDE” - She is a

“LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY”

4. She has not “BEEN AROUND” - She is a

“PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.”

5. She does not “NAG” you - She becomes

” VERBALLY REPETITIVE.”

6. She is not a “TWO-BIT HOOKER” - She is a

“LOW COST PROVIDER.”

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a “BEER GUT” - He has developed a

“LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.”

2. He is not a “BAD DANCER” - He is

“OVERLY CAUCASIAN.”

3. He does not “GET LOST ALL THE TIME” - He

“INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.”

4. He is not “BALDING” - He is in

“FOLLICLE REGRESSION.”

5. He does not act like a “TOTAL ASS” - He develops a case of

“RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.”

6. It’s not his “CRACK” you see hanging out of his pants - It’s

“REAR CLEAVAGE.”