Here’s the original article, in all its “I don’t know a thing about men but hey look at my nifty ‘SexPert’ title” glory.

1. Your partner is not as social as he used to be.

He is excusing himself from activities, has unexplained absences, and is not able to account for his time. He has little interest in socializing with you or making time for others, including his family.

Other Possibilities: He’s working more. His family gets annoying with overexposure. He just got a new book or videogame. He gets sick of having to always account for his time.

2. Your partner lacks interest in sex or is sexually unresponsive.

You’re noticing a decrease in physical affection and non-sexual touch. If you have sex, it’s because you are the one initiating it. Your partner is having trouble becoming sexually aroused (for example, achieving erection or having an orgasm).

Furthermore, your partner needs more and more stimulation to get turned on and release. He has developed a strong interest in sexual practices that seem a little out of left field. No matter what, both of you are feeling largely dissatisfied post-sex.

Other Possibilities: You overreacted when he suggested you work out together, and he’s less physically attracted to you. He’s stressed by work/being overworked. He’s sleeping with your sister/mother, and she/they are all for anal.

3. Your partner is being uncharacteristically demanding or rough during sex.

You’re feeling pressured to engage in sexual activities that are either physically or emotionally uncomfortable to you. Your partner is using atypical sexual language. He seems to be objectifying you and he has no qualms about it.

Other Possibilities: He wants to spice things up a bit. He isn’t addicted to porn, but he’s turned on by some of the things. You’re a prude.

4. Your partner does not seem “present.”

Your lover has become emotionally distant during sex. You’re starting to feel sexually rejected or neglected. In or out of the bedroom, you and your partner can no longer describe yourselves as emotionally intimate.

Other Possibilities: Anything in life. Literally anything could cause this. Maybe he doesn’t always have a new response for how he feels when hiding the salami.

5. Your partner has started to nit-pick your appearance.

Your partner seems more and more concerned about what you look like, and if you’re sexually attractive “enough.” He might make cutting remarks about your weight or shape. He’s also making insensitive sexual comments, which make you feel like a sex object.

Other Possibilities: There is actually a reason to nitpick your appearance. After all, he is proud to show you off, otherwise he likely wouldn’t have been attracted to you in the first place. He only nitpicks because he cares.

6. You feel like you’re no longer getting straight answers from your lover.

You suspect that much of what is being said these days are white lies. Answers to your questions seem vague and nonsensical. He’s defensive when asked about porn use.

Yet you are finding evidence of hiding, lying, and secretive behavior, including porn materials you didn’t know about. Maybe your partner maintains a private e-mail address, has his own credit card, and/or has an unknown cell phone account.

Other Possibilities: Ok, this isn’t an alternative, but is lying now seriously indicative of porn addiction? What happened to the good ol’ days where we lied just to avoid an argument? If you’re not married, is he not allowed to have his own credit card? God forbid you don’t have universal access to his e-mail on demand.

7. Your partner is practically wed to the Internet.

He spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, often demanding privacy and/or changing his bedtime ritual. As a result, he has eye problems from spending long hours on the computer. He may also complain of back, wrist, neck or shoulder pain.

Other Possibilities: He works on the computer. He’s doing one of the other 1.287 billion things to do on the Internet.

8. You’ve noticed a change in your partner’s demeanor.

Your partner just doesn’t seem like himself. He has trouble calming down and sleeping. His moods and interests are different. It may even be to the point you’re wondering if his mental health is okay. Feeling like a “sex pervert” can lead him to negative emotional outbursts such as picking fights and holding grudges in order to justify his secret porn use.

Other Possibilities: His demeanor changed for any number of reasons, including but not limited to: financial concerns, car problems, the economy, gas prices, the war, food poisoning, Red Sox fans, poor sexual performance, that nosey bitch at work, family problems, alimony from his previous marriages, body rash, adverse reaction to cheap tequila, tax season or a rude stripper.