First, read this (start about halfway down after the “***”) to better understand this entry.

I believe that people need to lighten the hell up; That laughing more and bitching less is just as easily done as it is said. That political extremists on both sides are blind to the real world. That the scariest phrase in the English language is indeed, “We’re from the government, and we’re here to help.” That if your job defines you, you’re nothing. If your possessions define you, you’re less.

I believe if I could truly get away with it and make a living, I would sell everything I own and move to the Virgin Islands. That my dog is more intelligent than most people I meet, and probably more self-sufficient. That the reason I dislike children is because they remind me of myself when hammered (self-centered and devoid of logical thoughts). Everything guys do is in the pursuit of getting laid, as well as everything we don’t do.

I believe the legal system is not set up to trap repeat offenders, but to make money like everything else. 95% of victims are not victims at all. 75% of marriages end up loveless, and 90% of those began as a function of necessity. If it’s true there is one and only one person out there for everyone, then we’re all a bunch of insufferable assholes. I believe that people who are looking for someone to complete them are weak-minded, pathetic individuals. That too many people view life as a series of destinations rather than one continuous journey.

I believe I’m lost without my iPod and my phone. I believe that’s a problem. I believe that formal education is going the way of the dodo, and that any motivated individual can accomplish more than the government would have them believe. Political correctness is modern slavery, and those who embrace it are the sheltered, not the liberated (see first sentence).

I believe Ghandi said it best: “Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”